Illustration by Alix Ayoub

New Traditions

Let’s face it: the traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties have become somewhat archaic. Sure, getting trashed and buying phallic-shaped lollipops is never going to go out of style completely, but for a memorable pre-wedding bash we recommend something a little more stimulating. After all—this is a celebration of a holy communion, and so instead of creating a listicle of our favorite local strip clubs we decided to go a little more badass.

Paintball at Splatter Park

Imagine letting those pre-wedding jitters fly from the barrel of a gun in a fury of slightly painful and brightly colored plastic balls. Team up with your wedding party against the local paintball wizards, or better yet, split up and light up your overbearing future mother-in-law or the groomsman that still hasn’t rented his tux. Nothing says romance like providing cover fire for your future husband, and now is your chance to take revenge on his snarky college friends. Or, if you have a low tolerance for pain, black light laser tag is still a thing and encompasses all of the aforementioned concepts.

COSI After Dark

Do you love science, hate kids, and like to drink? Well, COSI After Dark is aimed at you. Not only do they serve booze, but children are not allowed, so you and your party guests can drunkenly run free and learn about the rings of Saturn without tripping over a crying toddler. Nothing will make you feel more like an esteemed naval captain than shotgunning a beer in the replica submarine. Trust me on this.

Flyhio Flyboarding

Yeah, this is real, it is in Ohio, and it is the most exhilarating experience imaginable. It is kind of like a cross between waterskiing, skateboarding, and flying a jetpack. Get the gang together and soar like a freakin’ eagle. After all, nothing is hotter than watching your fiancé fly out of the water in mermaid-style fashion. Or, if you have the fear of propelling yourself to the bottom of the lake, you can always go to Zoombezi Bay and hit the waterslides.

Tandem Skydiving

If you are getting married, chances are you are probably either out of your goddamn mind or pretty courageous. (Or both.) So why not take the next natural step and jump out of a plane with a complete stranger strapped to your back with all of your friends and your fiancé. Cold feet takes on a whole new meaning when flying over the countryside, and if he wimps out then you will be less surprised if you are left standing at the altar. Or, you know, you could always catch a Clippers game.

Room Escape Adventures

You are locked in a room with 10 of your best friends and your future partner. There is a ravenous zombie chained to the wall, and every five minutes a buzzer sounds and the chain is extended a foot further. Hidden in the room are clues, puzzles, and a key that will ensure your freedom.  You have 60 minutes to escape before your brains are breakfast. Will you escape in time, or will you have a panic attack and ball up in the fetal position? This is the chance to find out if your future husband will be able to pull his weight during a zombie apocalypse, which if you ask us, is something you need to know before initiating a lifelong commitment.

Skyzone Ultimate Dodgeball

If you are unfamiliar with Skyzone, it is basically a giant room with trampolines on the walls and on the floors. It’s not just for kids—and they offer dodgeball. All of these facts combined make for a stellar wedding party experience. Feel like your maid of honor is driving you up the wall with her tacky centerpiece suggestions? Smash her in the face with a rubber dodge ball while performing a flying, off-the-wall somersault. Disclaimer: it’s probably not the best idea to drink too much beforehand, because the last thing you want is a trampoline sopping with spewed-up vodka.