Cabin Fever

Yeah, yeah: more dramatic subheading. Whatever. You go try and spend a week snowed in with literally anyone, even yourself (perhaps especially yourself), and see how X-Files that shit gets.

Morale is an essential part of staying healthy and safe in a critical situation. We’re talking at least about the evil gray skies of an Ohio February and March right now; being without Netflix for a couple days can make your house start to look like the Donner Pass.

Keep some of these items on hand just in case things get weird and you end up housebound longer than you were expecting:

Emergency Booze There’s a reason this is at the top of the list. Keep a bottle of your favorite party liquor stored with your emergency supplies, and try to save it for real emergencies. WARNING: Despite the “warming” feelings associated with the old “Who-Hit-John,” booze is NOT a good idea for victims of frostbite or hypothermia, and between 33- and 78-percent of all reported cases of hypothermia are complicated by alcohol consumption. In other words, it’s a fine way to stay warm when you’re already warm.

Board games/cards Even for people who “don’t like games.” You’ll like them plenty good when you’re bored out of your damn mind.

Guitar/harmonica/other musical instruments Avoid horns. If you’re a good musician, you’re going to perform the same task other minstrels performed before Spotify: entertaining your friends. If you’re a poor instrumentalist, you may well end up with plenty of time to practice.

Books/Magazines Snow time is a great time to catch up on all that reading you’re always pretending you’re going to do. If you’ve gotten through this whole thing in one snow day, you’re clearly on the right track. •