Get Your Wild On pt. 4
By Contributing writers |
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Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4
Equestrian adventure
Zoombezi Bay Waterpark
Seeking solace in the stars
Sunbathing
Stallone-style workouts
Have you ever wanted to find yourself on top of a spitting, snarling beast, an enormous mass of muscles and big square teeth many times your weight? (Come on ladies, you know you have.)
Photo: Liza Alwes
For some, horseback riding is the most sublime communion of man and beast. For others, it's something a sane person would never do. But have no fear, equiphobes - like people, the bad ones are made, not born. Find a good horse and a quiet wood, and you'll soon be intoxicated by lungful after lungful of fresh air, the soft clop of hooves on dirt, and the smell and sight of warm horsehair dappled by the sunlight falling through the leaves.
This is precisely what you'll find at Owl's Acre Riding Academy, a family-run stable just down Route 37 in Lancaster. Mona Scott, one of its proprietors, has run a Montessori school for over thirty years. Her daughter, Connie Siegle, describes the stable as a merging of "Montessori philosophy with the hands-on equestrian arts."
"Our horses are very calm and gentle," Siegle continues. "They're not stressed out animals, they're relaxed animals. We believe in communication, trust."
After a lesson on finding a horse that suits you, and one teaching the basics of riding and handling challenges met on the trail, you can sign up for a trail ride in groups of four to five. Riders groom their horses and put on tack, with assistance from instructors, and then set out on the trail, which meanders through the family's 62 acres of warm, welcoming countryside. Most rides last about an hour and a half. "It makes for a nice afternoon," says Siegle - and a refreshing way to take a break.
If the warm sun seems to follow you around, or if the scent of honeysuckle on the breeze seems particularly urgent, there's a reason. Summertime is calling you. Get out of the house and onto the horse, especially if you never have before.
Owl's Acre Riding Academy
2165 Lancaster-Newark Rd., Lancaster
(740) 687-5570
www.owlsacreridingstables.com
Granted, Columbus is nearly a thousand miles away from the nearest tropical beach, but that doesn't mean that we can't fake it. The Columbus Zoo is equipped with its very own 22.7-acre water park, formerly Wyandot Lake, now called Zoombezi Bay, for those who would like to feel ocean waves without having to shell out the green for plane tickets and resort accommodations.
Bonus: no sharks.
General admission to the park is $30 (free for kids under 2), which is roughly half of the price King's Island charges for their entry fee, with the added perk that you don't have to go anywhere near Cincinnati. Parking will run you $5. If you really want to spread out, you can rent one of the park's cabanas by the main pool, equipped with fans, deck chairs, a dining table, and your very own waiter. That'll run you $75 on weekdays and $125 on weekends, but you do get a discounted menu price. Just be sure to call at least a day in advance for reservations.
The attractions include a variety of pools, slides, and rivers. There's a giant wave pool, with a maximum depth of six feet, which shoots out four-foot waves. A handful of sectioned pools are available for general swimming. The rivers come in two varieties, 'relaxing' and 'exciting,' and both are navigated via inflatable inner tube. The park also boasts 15 slides of varying heights and speeds, the fastest of which is a hot little number called the Cyclone. It shoots you down a hill and around in a funnel at 20 mph, flushing you like a toilet. Just make sure you haven't had too much to eat before hopping on that one.
Zoombezi Bay is complete with beer, margaritas, and a selection of restaurants serving burgers, pizza, and such. The Harbor Fare serves fresh deli sandwiches and salads, for those who prefer a lighter lunch, while the Croctail Lounge is an outdoor bar, open only to those of legal drinking age. This will be of great importance halfway through the day, when the park is almost certain to be stuffed with children.
It ain't Bermuda, but it is close by. The food is definitely a sight better than what you can get at a public pool, even if it isn't Maryland Blue Crab, and you can wash it down with some cold beer. Not to mention, the whole shebang is within a stone's throw of the largest zoo in North America. So if you get tired from all the action, you can just drop a few more dollars and meet Jack Hannah's newest animal companions. All in all, it's not a bad day out, with or without a kid yanking on your sleeve.
Zoombezi Bay
9990 Riverside Dr., Powell
Hours: 10:30 a.m. to 7 p.m.
Okay, okay, this might not technically be an 'adventure,' but after you pull off a couple of the adventures in this series, it might seem like exactly the proper way to pass a warm, clear night; and if you take the right person, and select the right location, it could turn into a very hot adventure. Or if you take the wrong person, or choose the wrong adventure, it could turn into you running from an angry bull.
Stargazing is pretty simple: pick a clear, cloudless night, drive to the highest point you can find, as far from the lights of the city as you can get, put down your blanket or your lawnchairs, and relax. Look up at the sky. Try to identify constellations, and keep your eyes peeled for the meteors. During the peak of the Lyrids, this month's meteor shower, you will see up to 15 falling stars per hour, at 48.8 percent illumination (pretty dark). The shower will take place between June 14 and 16; weather permitting, that could be a great time to undertake your stargazing adventure. Take a battery-powered stereo and a couple Radiohead CDs, and make sure there are no lights anywhere, as they will wreck your night vision; try to stay away from busy roads.
No one has to be told that this is a good idea, but some of us get so busy that it might take a reminder.
For an even more sedate indoor adventure, support the Perkins Observatory at Ohio Wesleyan; for $6 you can have an enjoyable Friday evening, complete with passionate volunteers who will help you know what to look for. Call in advance, as tickets are frequently sold out, or check out their website for details.
So you say you want to get tan, eh? I myself have always preferred a paler complexion, but if you absolutely insist on bronzing yourself in the sun because you don't want to turn out that ridiculous orange 'hotdog' color that only a tanning bed can provide, there are good ways to do it, and bad ways to do it. Here are a few tips that you probably won't pay attention to.
Tip number one: Wear sunscreen, stupid. True, it does seem counter-productive, but wearing sunscreen doesn't block out all of the rays from the sun. It does, however, cut down on the exposure to the most harmful ones, so put some on, even if it's a low SPF. Oh, and FYI, waterproof sunscreen isn't always waterproof, so be sure to reapply every couple hours, because sweat and pool water can take it right off.
Tip number two: Pick your hours. In the United States, the most intense rays from the sun occur between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m., so despite what just ran through your head, DON'T go sunbathing during those times. You'll still tan at four, and it won't be nearly as bad for your skin.
Tip number three: Watch the booze. Elves and Wizards are not real*, but sunstroke is. If you get all liquored up and dehydrated and fall asleep in the sun, there is a very real possibility that it will be the last thing you do, so watch the margarita intake, and drink plenty of water.
Tip number four: Space it out. You aren't going to go from Elvira to Bo Derek in one afternoon. Too much, too fast will only result in a wicked burn, followed shortly there after by potato chip skin. Ever heard anyone say longingly, "Look at the flakes on her"? Didn't think so.
Tip number five: Sometimes too much is enough. If you don't tan, then you don't tan, so pick up a different hobby, because you're just gonna give yourself skin cancer.
Well, there you go. Feel free not to do any of those things. Personally, I've always been a fan of women throughout the city laying outside in what is essentially their underwear. The final, unofficial tip is this: if you wear less than that to sunbathe, be warned that 'certain areas' of the body do not tan, so put sunscreen on them. I've done all I can, so go out there and bake, and if you need any more convincing, just take a look at any old woman living in Miami. You could make a saddle out of that leather.
(*Editor's Note: Mark Lucas is convinced that neither Elves, nor Wizards, actually exist. That opinion is not necessarily that of 614 Magazine, which strives to keep an open mind.)
The ground far beneath you seems to be beckoning as the caked chalk finally starts to give, the sweat smearing the grippy granules into the minute cracks in the hole where your hand is wedged, clenched into a fist: all that's keeping you suspended. Gravity is finally starting to get the better of you, as your feet desperately search the sheer surface for anything to grip, and slow the exposure of hand skin that means you are about to fall . . . but they fail. Without warning, your tired hand releases its fist and slides out of the crevice, and you are falling through the air . . . until your partner on the ground catches you, and skillfully belays you to safety.
It's cool, Cliffhanger. It was just a rock wall.
Vertical Adventures, Columbus' newest indoor climbing facility, is a great way to get in shape, and to add an adrenaline-filled element to your vacation planning.
Day passes are $10 for adults, and $8 for students. First-time climbers pay an additional $15 for a starter lesson on climbing and belaying and explanations of all the equipment used during the standard indoor 'top rope' climbing, in which you are belayed by a partner on the ground. The lesson lasts between 20 minutes and an hour, based on individual aptitude and group size. That fee includes equipment rental and a day pass for the rest of the day, so you are comfortable in the equipment and basic techniques.
The facility also features two mechanical auto-belayers, which allow climbers to get a workout even without a partner.
In addition, Vertical Adventures offers a fully equipped pro-shop, separate lead and bouldering areas, and a total of 4000 square feet of climbing area. The website advertises their staff to be 'attitude free,' so you won't be dealing with a bunch of climbing snobs, but rather skilled climbers who want to help you learn this beautiful and demanding sport.
Vertical Adventures
6295 Busch Blvd.
(614) 888-8393
www.verticaladventuresohio.com
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Originally Published: June 1, 2009
