Get Your Wild On pt. 1
By Contributing writers |
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Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4
Hiking the trails
You can't fall off a mountain, but you can ride down it
The Sea-Doo Diaries
Cabrow, row, row your boat
Battered and splattered
Slate Run Metro Park - Hiking the trails
East on US-33 in Pickaway County, Slate Run Metro Park offers 12 miles of segmented and interlocking hiking trails. Five Oaks Trail, named after a talented oak stump that re-grew as five conjoined trunks, is a 1.5 mile graveled loop through tall trees, narrow streams and grassy meadows. Meadowlarks and indigo buntings sing heavenly while woodpeckers' soulful beats make you want to shake your maracas.
Photo: Michael Newman
The trail is marked moderate to difficult because of the mildly steep ravines - although, I wouldn't necessarily call the trail difficult, if you are on crutches, yes, it'd be challenging. Not enough? Five Oaks connects to Sugar Maple Trail, a 1.4 mile loop with similar terrain. For runners looking to increase strength and speed, build your calf muscles and endurance by training on these hills. For street walkers, get away from car exhaust, find a walking stick, and savor the serenity of nature. Slate Run also has flat, easy trails though grasslands and wetlands: Covered Bridge and Shagbark trails are both pooch-friendly and are easy half mile strolls through field and forest, sporting a view of Buzzard's Roost Lake. Once each month, the park stays open past dark for the one mile "Full Moon Walk."
After hiking, visit the living historical farm, a throwback to the 1880's. Self-guide a tour of the restored farmhouse, barn, working water windmill, and hog shed. The place is authentic, no indoor plumbing here. Percheron horses and merino sheep graze the pastures just like in the good old days.
Go to www.metroparks.net to find maps, activities, and trails.
You can't fall off a mountain, but you can ride down it
Do you love to get your bike on, but tire of dodging cars and traveling the same boring old pavement? Have you an itch for thrills, fresh air, and rugged scenery that the bike trails in town just aren't prepared to provide? Do your endless fixed-gear track-stands fail to give you your biking fix?
You, my friend, are a mountain biker waiting to blossom.
Alum Creek State Park has the trails you need. Just twenty miles from downtown, it is a short hop to the countryside and a bastion of flowing turns, roots, ruts, and downhill slaloms, all enveloped in verdant spring forest. With at least fifteen miles of trail, there is something for everyone, from the novice to the most experienced carver. The trail splits into two loops: one easy and flat, perfect for the beginner. The other careens through the trees, with new challenges and a variety of features emerging around each bend, offering opportunities for advancing riders and enough meat to keep the pros happy.
You will feel the wind in your face, the burn in your calves, and the aching smile muscles of your face, tired from beaming your elation to all passing riders. Thank the men and women of COMBO, the Central Ohio Mountain Biking Organization. It is their endeavor that has made this possible, maintaining trails and promoting the sport here in your backyard. Perhaps one day, when you are a grizzled vet, you will join them in their efforts, and help provide the next newbie's exhilaration. Until then, keep your tires full, your chain oiled, and watch for that drop around the bend - it's a doozie.
Central Ohio Mountain Biking Organization
www.combomtb.com
"My first experience with jetskiing came while I was peacefully drifting on a sailboat with family in Minnesota. I was soaking up summer rays, taking an afternoon nap when the bastards zipped right through the sound barrier, jumping the wake left by bigger boats that were ferociously trying to escape the obnoxiously loud water toys. The battle of the boat-things began . . . as I glared at the balefully at the oblivious joy riders, I realized they were cousins of mine, so I waved them over to our boat. I hopped on board their renegade river vehicles, and, with me grasping the cousin-driver like a young koala, we shot off like a stone skipping across a pond. Adrenaline pulsed through my body, action-glee plastered across my face, so excited that I shrieked and grinned against my will. I was on the dirt bike of the river, challenging waves to face-offs."
Photo: Christopher Atwood
Personal Water Crafts, commonly referred to by trademarked nomenclature such as Sea-Doos or Waverunners, are a perfect alternative for those who haven't the patience to learn the nuance of sailing, or the pectoral fortitude for rowboats. Ridden like waterborne motorcycles, they are powered and steered with an internal propeller system. Most PWCs can attain speeds in excess of 50 mph. An important thing to remember is that maneuverability decreases in direct proportion to decreases in speed; if you don't have the throttle open, you can't steer the craft.
Both the Alum Creek Marina and the Deer Creek Marina rent PWCs, as well as motorboats, pontoon boats (essentially floating party decks), rowboats, paddleboats, and aquacycles, offering adventures tailored to the grit of the watergoer. From high-energy Waverunners, powerful enough to clear the water when jumping the wakes of larger boats, to placid water bikes, Alum Creek and Deer Creek are within a half-hour of nearly any point in Columbus and make for excellent day-trip adventures. For the weekend adventurer, both lakes offer great campsite rental possibilities, as well, with powered and non-powered sites and public restrooms and showers.
Alum Creek Marina
www.alumcreek.com/
Cabrewing is an ancient tradition, dating back to coming-of-age rituals practiced by Vikings. Known as 'Kanu-Dranken,' the rite would involve several five-year-olds taking to a river on a wooden boat with a cask of mead, or honey ale. Only when each had plundered a sufficient quantity of mead were they permitted to return as men. Five-year-old men.
Okay, I made that up, but it sounded like it could be true.
Cabrewing is just when you and your pals hop in a canoe and drink beer. That's it. It's simple, and very easy to do, provided you are sufficiently prepared . . . to deal with the consequences.
Unless one of you owns a canoe, you'll need to rent one. An establishment where one rents canoes and such is known as a livery. Trapper John's, located on the scenic Big Darby Creek, is probably your best bet. There you can rent not only canoes, but kayaks and tubes, as well. There's no cabrewing rule requiring it take place in a canoe. There are a number of different trips available at Trapper John's, for around $20 per person. For that, they provide you with the necessary canoe, paddles, and lifejackets, drop you off at the launch, and pick you up at the end. Always wear a lifejacket while on a boat, especially if you're cabrewing.
That being said, it is illegal to operate a vessel in this state, motorized or otherwise, under the influence of alcohol. The same rules that apply on the roads apply on waterways. Oh, and its also illegal to jaywalk in Ohio - and to cut the tag off a mattress and to play loud music after 10 p.m. (Editor's Note: 614 Magazine does not advocate lawlessness.)
The trick here is to match your drinking ability to your overall seaworthiness. If you know nothing of the waters you're going to navigate, try not to get too obliterated. Respect your rental place. Don't leave cans or illicit materials of any kind in the crafts - I'm sure they'd notice. Respect your surroundings. Bring a backpack to keep cans in. Don't throw cans or any other trash in the water. It's not only lame, but also a surefire way to get caught, as nature-goers tend to hate litter more than anything else, and they will phone you in. If a boat with a flashing blue light comes up next to you and commands you to halt the canoe, do it, because this is a cop. A Real Cop, who can take you to Real Jail.
Trapper John's Canoe Livery
7141 London-Groveport Rd., Grove City
(614) 877-4321
www.trapperjohnscanoeing.com
*While Trapper John's does not offer cabrewing, they do provide great canoe rides.
Battered and splattered
Paintball is not just for the wannabe-war correspondent
I'll never forget the first time I got shot. I was on reconnaissance.
Hungry and parched, I licked my lips, and tried to slow my jumping heart rate, still plotting the right moment to raise my head above the barrier shielding me from enemy fire.
Photo: Christopher Atwood
Now, I thought.
Six inches of my skull exposed, and with only had a few moments to identify and lock in on a target, I could see only trees flecked with hazy movement from both flanks.
Running out of time. Better get down, I thought.
Too late.
After I was struck physically (just inches from my nose), I was struck also by two fortunate realizations:
1.) The battle wound I would take away from this particular melee was not even a scar at all, so much as a green-and-yellow burst of colorful paint.
2.) I hadn't had this much fun since I was eight years old.
That's the way you'll feel, too, after spending a day at Land Paintball, the only paintball field in the Columbus area.
For my first tour as an embedded journalist in pastel warfare, owner and operator, Naaman Nakanishi, would serve as my guide and point man. He handed me a gun and a bag of paintballs, and, as best he could, some basic training.
Knowing I had never been on a paintball field in my life, he smirked to himself.
"Once you get out there, take the safety off and start advancing. You'll feel the adrenaline start pumping," he said.
The game takes place on one of two different fields at Land. The one I played, what Nakanishi says is the more traditional paintball experience, is referred to commonly as 'woods' ball, assumedly because paintballers take to the nearest trees when a professional field isn't available. The other is the more fast-paced speedball field, a rectangular battle space that resembles an outdated American Gladiators stage, with nothing but about 40 yards and inflatable obstacles separating each team's shooters. Wasn't ready for that one yet.
At Land, each team is assembled by a system comparable to pickup basketball. Those ready and willing enter a staging area, where teams are divided and walked off to separate ends of the course.
At the sound of the horn, each team advances on the other, alternately taking shots and cover, ducking behind natural barriers like trees and brush piles, as well as plywood forts and concrete barriers. Think of it like a redneck, 'DIY' Halo level. Like the popular video game, many alternative game formats can be employed, but during my experience, standard elimination, aka last man standing, was the game du jour.
With players of all ages and experience levels (I was outlasted by at least two gunmen too short to ride most conventional roller coasters), safety is a top concern at Land. Just outside the field is a range where each gun is tested to ensure they are not pressurized over 285 pounds per square inch (psi). In addition, there are referees for every match and safety demonstrations were given periodically throughout the afternoon I was in play.
And luckily, the paintballers at Land were perfectly comfortable with letting a novice into their ranks. Many there were serious warriors, essentially practicing their crafts locally before hitting the road for high-dollar tournaments over the summer. Still, spliced in was a family of five, there for a young boy's birthday party, and Nakanishi said corporate outings and private parties are also popular.
"A lot of people seem to want to shoot the boss," he laughed.
The adrenaline rush was as Nakanishi described. Part of it could have been avoiding the paintballs, which have been rumored to break the skin if they strike an exposed part of your hand, neck, or head. Most of the adrenaline came from inhabiting a headspace I haven't needed in years. Who can't remember the thrill of hiding behind a tree, heart pounding, trying your hardest to stay still and out of view?
Land Paintball
4999 Old Rathmell Ct., Obetz
www.landpaintball.com
Rental guns and paint are available for the weekends-only course, also open on Fridays during the summer.
Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4
Originally Published: June 1, 2009
