Romancing the Bottle
By Landon Proctor |
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Let's say you're on a date for Valentine's Day and you'd like to drink wine, either at a restaurant or at home. Let's also assume that you aren't fully confident about wine traditions, and you'd prefer not to make a fool of yourself in front of a romantic prospect. You'd like to conform to generally accepted principles - whether valid or not - so as not to embarrass your date. Here's a handy cheat sheet to save you some time.
Safe Wine Choices: Restaurant
Most white wines pair well with seafood, chicken, and cream-based dishes. A standard choice is an unoaked Chardonnay. Even better might be a dry Riesling (REEZ-ling), if they have one. If you are in the company of someone who has some experience with wine, order Albarino (ahl-bah-REEN-yo) to elicit a slow golf clap of approval.
Red wine is often more robust than white wine, and better complements heartier fare, such as beef, lamb, sausage, and tomato-based dishes. An inexpensive crowd-pleaser might be a Malbec from Argentina. Any Spanish red (other than the cheapest one on the menu) will shine over meat-based cuisine. If you have the money, Chateauneuf du Pape (shah-toe-nuff due PAHP) is always delightful and terribly fun to say.
Safe Wine Choices: Home
If you're preparing a meal yourself, the above recommendations still hold, and will cost you much less than the typical 150-percent to 400-percent wine markup at a restaurant. If it's just you and a sweetie sans dinner, a dessert wine is often the traditional accompaniment to a romantic evening. A safe bet is a wine called Moscato D'Asti (muhs-CAH-toe DAH-stee), since almost everyone enjoys its refreshing fruit-forwardness. Without being crass, Moscato D'Asti's tragic flaw in this scenario is its low alcohol content, usually around 5%. German Riesling Auslese is a reasonable and higher ABV alternative. But if you want chocolate, as many often do on February 14th, consider the classic: Port. It's sweet, dense, fortified, and one of the only wines to stand up to dark chocolate.
Avoid Looking Silly
A quickie guide to opening, pouring, and tasting your wine
-Remove the foil covering the cork by any means necessary. Often, you can easily pull the whole foil top off in one piece.
-Don't let the corkscrew come out of the bottom of the cork. It's the easiest way to prevent bits of cork getting into the wine, which is considered a "faux pas."
-Use actual wine glasses and not cups, mugs, or anything plastic. Wipe down before use with a warm, damp cloth to insure no dust or odd smells cling to the glass.
-Open all sparkling wines so the neck is not pointing at anyone, yourself included. Champagne gives more black eyes than you might expect. Chill all sparkling wines well, unless you want to empty half the contents of the bottle onto the ceiling.
-If you don't have experience pouring wine perfectly, just have a napkin handy to wipe the inevitable drip that runs down the side of the bottle after each refill.
-If you must swirl the wine in your glass, practice at home first or I promise it will end up splashing you or your date. If your date likely knows more about wine than you, avoid swirling . . . it is rather superfluous, unless you really know what you are looking at.
-Don't fill a glass more than half-full. This lets aromas collect above the wine and allows room to swirl, assuming you practiced.
-Hold a glass containing red wine however you like. Hold the glass by the stem if you're drinking white or sparkling so you won't warm up the wine by touching the bowl.
-Resist the urge to list adjectives describing what you're drinking. It's unnecessary, pretentious, and the easiest way to tell if you don't really know what you're talking about.
My only caveat is that the above is not gospel, and should be absolutely deviated from when you're NOT trying to impress someone. You've heard it countless times before - just drink whatever you like, however you like it. Anyone "correcting" you when it comes to wine is ridiculously pedantic and mistaken, since there's no wrong way to enjoy it. These are only suggestions and meant for those who have not yet had the pleasure of years of drinking wine. You must throw away the ladder after you have climbed up it, to borrow a phrase.
Landon Proctor is the incredibly talented, ass-kicking, and supremely humble wine specialist at Blacklick Wine & Spirits (7199 E Broad St., Blacklick), where he holds weekly wine tastings: Thursdays & Fridays 6 - 8 p.m., Saturdays 1 - 6 p.m. Get in some practice for the big date with the Valentine's Day Tasting on February 11th and 12th.
Originally Published: February 1, 2010
