Chelsea Automatic
Cheap red wine, Ponzi schemes, and
By Adam Scoppa |
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You don't really get to interview Chelsea Automatic; you just let them talk amongst themselves and take turns hurling insults. Occasionally, you can try to steer the mess in the direction of information worth knowing.
"I hope he uses that shot of me with a road flare in my mouth," muses singer J. Fina.
"He looked like Groucho Marx," explains bassist Eric Hangover
"I thought I looked like Jesse Ventura from Predator," Fina retorts.
Chelsea Automatic is the band your high school principal detested, your father called 'a bunch of bums' and your mother took one look at and nearly fainted. At least that's what they would have you believe.
Eagerly gulping down red table wine at their favorite haunt, Kafe Kerouac, singer J. Fina, guitarist Alex Donaldson, bassist Eric Hangover, drummer Jim Possible, and their manager Jeremy Marx revealed themselves simply to be a tight group of friends with a healthy disregard for political correctness and a lot of time on their hands - time spent, it seems, relentlessly perfecting and pushing their glammed-up garage rock agenda on anyone within earshot.
That, and making a music video involving zombies.
Left to right: Eric Hangover, Jim Possible, Alex Donaldson, J. Fina
Photo: Chris Casella
To arrive at the cocky, crafty outfit they are now, Chelsea Automatic had to take the long way around - a strange, boozy trip that began when the now 24-year-olds were teenage friends, transporting them from campus dive Bernie's to Boston and back. A decade and a few band names and styles later, they're older, wiser and ready for anything.
"Something I don't take for granted anymore is the fact that we can all play together really well," says Fina, citing lessons learned as a result of performing as the hair metal-inspired Crash Midnight in Boston. "You've heard of Guns and Roses? Worse than that," he says of that band's sound.
Frustrated with the project, the musicians scrapped Crash Midnight and returned to Columbus to form Chelsea Automatic two years ago. This time around, the boys peddle a more catchall guitar-rock sound that nods to their early days in the punk scene, hints at their Boston incarnation, and even dabbles in dance music.
In attempting to describe Chelsea Automatic, Hangover offered a puzzling monologue that began, "If you stayed up all night ..." and culminated with margaritas, girls, and a swimming pool. (It should be noted that, at this point, the second bottle of wine had been opened.)
A better introduction to their sound might be to check out the hilarious music video for "Conquerer John," which features the group battling bloodthirsty undead with shovels and instruments. Culled from this year's EP of the same name, "Conquerer John" treads much of the same ground that the confident 2008 debut The Band Drinks Free did, now infusing their Slash-ing guitar riffs and sing-along choruses with Brit-pop sensibilities.
Chelsea Automatic records their material at Clintonville's Central City Studios, always employing local indie-rock guru Jon Chinn to twiddle the knobs. Chinn has deftly zeroed in on the bands desired sound: a keen balance of the radio-ready with the down and dirty.
"The first song that we did, he blew us away with some of the ideas he had," recalls Fina, "and every time we go back ... he knows exactly what we want and what we're going for."
The band is currently gearing up to gain exposure at Harrisburg's Millennium Music Conference in February. Meanwhile, in Columbus, they recruit vagabonds sleeping on their campus porch to distribute albums to the public.
Live shows find Chelsea Automatic with its members frequently upside-down while playing or singing. On stage, depending on how much of whatever has been consumed, their polished recorded sound gets deconstructed in favor of a charmingly sloppy aesthetic - the kind of reckless rock n' roll circus they've cultivated from countless local and out of town shows.
The musicians' camaraderie is nearly as infectious as their sleazy hooks, and it is extended to the audience for a beer-sloshing, crowd-surfing sideshow. In spite of this deplorable behavior, the group has managed to receive very few arrests and make friends in many of the cities it has performed in.
Chelsea Automatic is partial to heading east for a homecoming gig of sorts in Boston, or further north to their favorite destination: Brooklyn, New York.
"There's this burrito cart ..." Fina begins.
"Sometimes we've had up to 15 people just make the trip with us and make a weekend out of it," says Donaldson.
"It's a good vacation from our everyday lives," says Marx.
"... Of crunching numbers and being hedge fund managers," Donaldson quips.
"By the way, invest in our Ponzi scheme," urges Hangover.
Then they spent a fascinating amount of time arguing about White Castle.
Originally Published: January 1, 2010
