In the summer of 2010, Jeff Fernengel, Columbus’ erstwhile artist, punk rocker and provocateur, stopped me in the middle of a bar, insistent on becoming the capital city’s pre-eminent pizza journalist.

Now, with our second edition of Food City, comes the perfect opportunity for “Fern” to slather his culinary knowledge far and wide.

But for such an advanced and adventurous palate, we couldn’t just have Fern sitting in front of a square box scribbling notes onto a napkin. Nay, we sent him on an epic quest, a harrowing pizza journey to all corners of Central Ohio. The following is his grease-stained dispatch from the field. In his pack: just enough cash and an old iPhone; his mission: 30 pies in 30 days, all local, no major national chains.

His credo: “No slice left behind.” Enjoy.

– Travis Hoewischer, Editorial Director, Food City

Day 1

Rubino’s Pizza – Bexley
2643 E Main St.
www.rubinosbexley.com

What a way to get the ball rolling! An employee opened the shop for us an hour early, and shared the pie she was already making – quite a selfless act of pizza kindness. The shop looks like somewhere you would see the cast of Saved By The Bell grab a slice after school. Rubino’s makes their own sausage and it’s the only shop in town that still practices the fine art of bagging your pizza to go. That’s right: no cardboard – they bag it, baby!

Day 2

Café Napolitana – Downtown
40 N High St.
www.cafenapolitana.com

The fact that people call it “Nappy’s” says a lot about this place, because they have plenty of downtown regulars that are comfortable enough with the place to give it a nickname. The owner, Palma, is very personable and seems to know most of his regulars. They have very tasty pizza and specialize in serving it by the slice to suit the downtown lunch crowd. Another advantage Café Napolitana has over other places that offer it to you one slice at a time is that you can get any topping you want added to your slice. At Nappy’s, you know your slice hasn’t been caged up under a heat lamp like a sad puppy at a pet shop.

Day 3

Press Grill – Short North
741 N High St.
www.pressgrill.net

Now, usually I go here to try to impress girls in the later part of the evening, or at least I see other people here impressing ladies in the later part of the evening. However, today, I visited Press Grill to learn two things: 1) What is the Dover/New Philadelphia style of pizza? and 2) Why do they offer it in Columbus?

Dover/New Philly style pizza features a sweeter sauce, spicy pepperoni and Colby cheese. The reason they offer this pie is because one of their cooks is from Tuscarawas County, where this style of pizza is king.

Day 4

Yellow Brick Pizza – Olde Town East
892 Oak St.
www.yellowbrickpizza.com

Way to go, Yellow Brick – you distracted me from pizza with your amazing selection of beers. If you are over 21, this is the best place in town to “wait for your pizza.” They have a specialty pie that can satisfy just about any knucklehead, but be cautious of lingering, because if you are there too long, you will be dining with some of those pink elephants that seem to frequent establishments with such great beers.

Day 5

Carlucci’s – Powell
8747 Smoky Row Rd.
www.carluccispizzeria.org

Well, I was trying to go to a place called Peppercini’s, but when I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed a temporary sign that said Carlucci’s. Upon investigation, I learned that the previous owner had fallen upon unfavorable conditions and was unable to keep the shop going. In walked Ezio and Carlo Cautela, brothers and customers of 25 years, and they saved their favorite pizza shop by purchasing it. This pop-and-pop shop has no intentions of changing the pizza, they just gave it a different name – and that’s okay with me.

Day 6

Pizza House – North Side
747 E Lincoln Ave.
www.pizzahousecolumbus.com

After a satisfying Cleveland Browns victory, I decided to celebrate the win in an environment conducive to pizza and beer. As a pitcher of suds was presented to our table, my pizza partner pointed out the fact that for whatever reason, Michelob seems to be strictly a pizza beer. It only seems to be offered in mom-and-pop pizza shops scattered around the city. Open for 50 years, the current Pizza House owner Billy Colasante started working here when he was 15 years old. Twenty years ago, the original owners sold it to him because the restaurant was their baby and they wanted to keep it going. The Pizza House used to be a half-barbershop, half-pizza joint, which was inside an actual house – hence the name. Now, they have a more luxurious location across the street, but they kept the name for tradition.

Day 7

Taranto’s Pizza Barn – Pickerington
601 N Hill Rd.
www.tarantospizza.com

It was a pretty far drive, but I’m glad it was an actual barn or I would have been very disappointed. The pizza is above average and my guest who grew up in the area showed me a little slice of the Barn’s rich history. Years back, Pickerington youth would try to live out their rock ’n’ roll dreams by playing all ages shows on a stage located on the back patio. This talent-rich stock of musicians includes local punk rock icon Troy Allen and CD101 hitmaker Nick Tolford.

Day 8

Mama’s Pasta and Brew – Campus
23 Campus Pl.
www.mamaspastaandbrew.com

This is surely the coziest place in town to get a pizza. The charming decor and sneaky location make Mama’s the best hideout in the city. At Mama’s, you can eat excellent pizza and drink beer while avoiding everyone you don’t want to see; or eat pizza and drink beer while seeing someone you don’t want people to see you seeing. In any event, it is my overall favorite environment for quiet afternoon pizza eating and beer consumption – and darts.

Day 9

Clever Crow – North Market
59 Spruce St.
www.clevercrowpizza.com

After eight days of pizza, I wanted something different, and I knew I could find it at Clever Crow. I’ve eaten so much traditional pizza that if you sliced me open, my blood would clot the wound with tiny flakes of pepperoni. Needless to say, I was in the mood for a slice that was different. When the owner of the stand suggested I try the fig and prosciutto, I jumped all over it, because these toppings teamed up with Clever Crow’s signature cornbread crust were destined to shake up my tasting buds.

Day 10

Sparano’s – San Margherita
1783 N Hague Ave.
www.facebook.com/sparanos

As my hungry pizza pal and I entered Sparano’s, we quickly realized we would be feasting in the great outdoors of San Margherita. The lack of dining surfaces supplied by Sparano’s did not stop us from enjoying our pizza fresh out the oven. We just scouted for a nice curb in the parking lot suitable for two pizza freaks. An employee was happy to tear us off a few sheets of paper toweling to wipe up the greasy goodness that makes Sparano’s the working-class pizza that Westsiders swear by.

Day 11

Hounddog’s Three Degree Pizza – North Campus
2657 N High St.
www.hounddogspizza.com

After an evening of partying with an out-of-town friend, the natural progression of booze to pizza led me to Hounddog’s. In typical Hounddog’s fashion, I ordered a pizza with whatever toppings rolled off the tip of my impaired tongue. The pizza ended up looking like a party favor, and was consumed in a rabid manner by anyone who made eye contact with me as I carried the box over to my group of rambunctious revelers. An empty box of Hounddog’s is evidence that I had a good time, but still had the ability to realize I must sustain my meager existence with some form of greasy fuel.

Day 12

Pizza Mart – North Side
5413 Sinclair Rd.

Today, I rolled out with my bandmates to propel our practice with pizza. We all have a major crush on Borgata Pizza Café up on the north side of town, so that’s where we went. Problem was, they aren’t open on Mondays. After throwing a minor hissy fit in the parking lot upon realizing that they were closed, I just started driving, looking for something to take away the disappointment. As I bitterly drove down 161, a backseat passenger suggested Pizza Mart. It seemed like the right thing to do, since it was on our way home. As we rolled up to Pizza Mart, I was unimpressed with its exterior, but blown away by what they have inside. We partied with two large pizzas, almost consuming both between the three of us. The mighty pizza door was slammed in my face, but the perfect pizza window opened up and allowed my journey to continue.

Day 13

Rusty Bucket – Dublin
6726 Perimeter Loop Dr.
www.dublin.myrustybucket.com

More than one person on my odyssey pointed me in the direction of Rusty Bucket in Dublin. I had a hard time believing that a place known for their pub and grub could serve me a pie that had any game whatsoever. Nonetheless, I decided to give it a go, and I was pleasantly surprised. The kind server explained to my tablemate and me why their pizza is so tasty: research. They traveled across the states trying some of the best pizzas in the country, and used the information gathered to create the pizza that I devoured with passion.

Day 14

Catfish Biff’s – Campus
75 W 11th Ave.

I had a really busy day, but I still had to slip in a slice, which made the old campus standby Catfish Biff’s the most logical choice. As a student of The Ohio State University, I would grab a couple slices and can of Orange Crush almost every day on my way to class. On weekends, upon my return trip from an evening featuring very special guests Natural Light and Icehouse, I would be sure to pop in for yet another slice or three. Many years later, Biff’s still holds up. Just as I remembered, it was still greasy and tasty, and washed down nicely with my tin can of Orange Crush.

Day 15

Figlio – Grandview
1369 Grandview Ave.
www.figliopizza.com

What can I say – I wanted to treat myself well, so I parked my car on Grandview Avenue and walked into Figlio. The staff treated me like the guy I want to be someday. If I ever want to impress a lady, and eat pizza while doing so, this is the place. They use what is rumored to be one of the top pizza ovens in the world; though I have no idea how such an honor is determined, I was ready to buy it. Figlio is a classy way to eat pizza – a nice change of pace for a lowbrow pizza-quester like myself. Dignified pizza consumption happens here on a daily basis. Once in awhile, I want chicken on my pizza, but only if it’s done in a place like this. They have several specialty pizzas that involve chicken teamed up with complementary toppings; you don’t have to waste your time trying to decide what goes well with chicken. The world outside of Figlio is not as kind. Goodbye, Figlio, you were so good to me last night.

Day 16

Gatto’s – Clintonville
2928 N High St.

I needed some stability today, so I went with Gatto’s, the unofficial pizza of Clintonville. It’s not uncommon to walk into this place and see the owner sitting down with a group of friends from the neighborhood enjoying a pizza and a beer. This guy knows his pie. He shared a large slice of Columbus pizza history with us, and made us feel like part of the club. We literally talked pizza for 45 minutes, and I must say, I came out of it a better man. This shop has been a pillar of the neighborhood for well over 50 years, serving generations of Clintonville’s finest, and not a thing has changed about the place. The people that work here and the customers are family, connected not by blood, but by the tasty homemade sauce that runs through the veins of its employees. As we walked out of the shop, Gatto gave me some more random advice: warm up your pizza in a frying pan to give it that crisp, pizza oven feel.

Day 17

Capuano’s Pataskala
24 S Township Rd.
www.capuanospizza.com

I felt like a road trip, so going on a hot pizza lead, I decided to take my act to Pataskala. I didn’t write down the directions correctly, so when we arrived in downtown Pataskala, I had to drive around town ’til I found a sign that said ‘pizza.’ The inside of Capuano’s is very inviting, set up with charming picnic tables for people who choose to enjoy their pizza in house. There is something I love about eating at picnic tables . . . I think they make me relax, because it’s okay to have your elbows on a picnic table, you can slide into your seat, and spin around to exit. Yes, those are the reasons I like picnic tables. Anyways, as I have been doing a lot during this pizza quest, I settled in with a can of Orange Crush, the unofficial soda of my pizza quest. The pizza came out looking good, but had a lot to live up to, including several strong recommendations and a few gallons of gas. It was terrific, and well worth my drive. The ride back home was sort of a bummer, like riding back from a vacation, depleted of anticipation and excitement.

Day 18

Villa Nova – Beechwold
5545 N High St.
www.villanovacolumbus.com

I was looking to have some fun today, so Villa Nova seemed like the most viable option. One of my favorite things about this place is they give you so much to look at. Hundreds of clocks and barometers line the walls, and upon further investigation, you can also find the world’s largest and smallest teapots. I have eaten here several times, but this was my first go at their pizza. Eureka! The pie was spectacular, and it went down nicely with a pitcher of Michelob (my unofficial pizza beer).

Day 19

Cardo’s – South Side
3606 Lockbourne Rd.

Back in my early pizza blogging days, an older South Side resident suggested I give Cardo’s a shot, and it was sound advice. I decided to reunite with my pizza brother from our cult-acclaimed ‘Pizza Brothers’ blog to revisit this South Side gem. It moved from High Street to Lockbourne Road, but it still maintained the bold character the High Street shop possessed, decorated with pictures of serial killers and rock and rollers. Sadly, we were informed that the owner had passed away a few months ago, but many photos of him now grace the walls. These pictures include a photo of his rock and roll band Zap. He was a big personality and he will be missed, and I would like to thank him for the great pie he left behind.

Day 20

Borgata Pizza Café – North Side
5701 Parkville St.

After failing to get Borgata on Day 12, it was time to seek a revenge pie. Teaming up with my bandmates, who also moonlight as members of the ‘Pizza Slayer’ blog, we popped into the North Side joint and totally destroyed an extra large pizza in minutes. There came a point where there were only two slices left, and three salivating takers. I solved the problem by cutting one slice in half and giving the companions the two smaller pieces, then keeping the full-sized one for myself. Onlookers saw this action as selfish and hostile, but all is fair in love and pizza. Upon completion of the pie, all involved agreed that this place is one of the best-kept secrets in Columbus’ pizza scene.

Day 21

Cowtown Pizza – Grandview
1359 Grandview Ave.
www.cowtownpizza.com

My roommate consistently orders pizza from Cowtown, and I consistently bum and steal slice after slice from him. I even developed a technique where I take a pizza roller and trim small strips off multiple slices so he doesn’t notice the accumulative damage. I figured it was time to actually go get my own Cowtown. I went up there during lunchtime and took advantage of their by-the-slice offering. For once, there was no wrongdoing in my Cowtown consumption.

Day 22

Plank’s on Parsons – German Village
743 Parsons Ave.
www.plankscafe.com

Plank’s on Parsons, where have you been my whole life? When driving down Parsons Avenue, I never thought too much about going there because the building really disguises its splendid contents. What’s not to love about a pizzeria owned by a friendly family that offers free nuts and popcorn? They have a big bar, and the place is decorated to the exact point where it is still interesting to look around without the tackiness of a chain restaurant. When you sit down at a table, the overall vibe of Plank’s makes you feel like you are supposed to be there at that specific moment of your life. The pizza was a nice treat because the crust was puffy and sweet. It is the real sweetie pie of Columbus, and I enjoyed my time there.

Day 23

Harvest Pizza – German Village
495 S Fourth St.
www.harvestpizzeria.com

Since I was dining with my healthiest friend, I decided it was time to explore a less-greasy option, so it was off to the German Village to conquest Harvest Pizza. I’m not going to lie; I worked myself into a frenzy trying to find this place. It is nearly hidden, due to a small sign and not easily seen address. This caused me to mindlessly drive around the block a few times, stopping, slowing down and making bad turns, kind of like a suburbanite at Gallery Hop. Finally, I found a place to tie up my horse and sedate my frustration with some tender loving pizza. Lucky for me, Harvest came through with a pie loaded up on fresh local toppings, many of which originate from the owner’s farm. The atmosphere at Harvest is fresh, bright and clean.

Day 24

Terita’s Pizza – North Side
3905 Cleveland Ave.
www.teritas.com

I walked into Terita’s based on the fact that Gatto told me I could find a good pizza there. As I waited for my pizza, a steady stream of North Side residents trickled in collecting their pizzas and scurried back out to their cars. Terita’s is strictly carryout – no delivery or dine-in – so this was going to be another parking lot pie. I took the hot pizza into my car and went slice for slice with my partner. In less than 10 minutes, my car windows were steamy and the dashboard was greasy, but my tank was full.

Day 25

Bucci’s – Hilliard
4333 Cosgray Rd.
www.buccispizzeria.com

While waiting for my pizza, owner Slade Bucci told me his story. He had been a pro golfer for 15 years, when he left the circuit to give the pizza business a try. As a kid, his grandmother had a pizzeria and he recovered her old family recipes to open Bucci’s. When our pizza was ready, he brought it over to us in the bar next door called the Overtime Sports Pub. As I videotaped the arrival, a slightly buzzed regular asked me just what the hell I was doing recording a pizza. I explained my pizza quest and we went on to trade stories about different pizzas we have conquered in our lifetimes. He told me about a pizza he once had that was so bad his dog refused to eat the scraps. However, Bucci’s pizza was so good I had to go back next door and tell Slade myself. I pointed out the fact that the cheese and pepperoni were standouts. In response, he showed me a plaque that declares he uses the best, most expensive cheese on the market.

Day 26

Rotolo’s – Grandview
1749 W Fifth Ave.
www.rotolospizza.com

I was browsing the Internet searching for my next pizza stop, when I came across Rotolo’s website. I clicked on a little pizza that said, “Play our jingle,” and that was all the motivation I needed. The jingle was catchy, ridiculous and vaguely sounded like Rod Stewart. So I did what anyone would do, I got in my car and drove to Rotolo’s singing “We’re going to Rotolo’s, pizza is my life!” I ordered my pizza for carryout and decided this one could make the eight-minute drive to my house without losing any mojo. Nonetheless, I took a slice and shoved it in my mouth before I even made it off of Fifth Avenue. The next time my car stopped, I grabbed another slice and closed the box, telling myself that I can wait ’til I get home. Not true; next light I stopped at was a major intersection, and I took out another two slices. By the time I walked in the door, I had about half a pizza left.

Day 27

The Rossi – Short North
895 N High St.
www.rossibarandkitchen.com

A night at the Rossi! As I walked in, I took note of the fact that OSU President E. Gordon Gee had made the same dining choice on this night. I was escorted to a luxurious booth where my guest and I sipped on fancy wines and premium draft beer. The environment reminded me of what it would be like to have a nice job. We selected a tasty pizza that was served to us on a platter. The Rossi has the sexiest pizza in C-bus and it’s the kind of pizza you get when you want to have a night on the town.

Day 28

Dante’s – Clintonville
3586 Indianola Ave.
www.dantespizzainc.com

My pizza partner and I entered Dante’s family-friendly dining room with coins in our hands, ready to rock out to the classic rock heavy jukebox. Sadly, it was removed months ago. Dante’s is such a friendly environment, that the waitress told us that if we were here when they got rid of the jukebox they probably would have given it to us. Like Gatto’s, Dante’s is the other pillar that holds up the Clintonville pizza scene. Judging by the conversations of people picking up their pizzas, you can tell the employees have been here a long time and know their customers. The quality of their pizza stays so high because if you care about someone, you won’t let them walk out the door with a lousy pie. My pizza brother and I had no problem banging out this pizza before it had the opportunity to cool down. At this point, the roof of my mouth has taken a serious torching due to the fact that my desire for pizza is stronger than my willpower.

Day 29

Emelio’s – West Side
574 Georgesville Rd.

Nearing the end of my journey, I made the long trek out to the far West Side pizza epicenter of Emelio’s. Resting in the shadow of the casino construction, Emelio’s is a comfortable and worn-in neighborhood bar with plenty of booths and stools. As we waited for our pizza, an older gentleman sat at the bar quietly sipping on his drink and I mused that this is the kind of pizza place that comfortably rests on the shoulders of its regular customers who have been coming here for years. It’s the type of pizza shop you are born into based on geography, and the high quality of the pizza is what keeps you loyal.

Day 30

Adriatico’s – Campus
265 W 11th Ave.

After 29 pleasing days of pizza, I have to say I still craved Adriatico’s, and it totally lived up to its reputation in my head as the best pie in town. When I die, I request my ashes to be spread upon an Adriatico’s Buckeye Pizza, and I want my 30 closest friends to have a slice . . . yep, I’m going out with a pizza party!

Pizza Quest Honors

The Big Ten
Adriatico’s
Bucci’s
Plank’s on Parsons
Borgata
Cardo’s
Villa Nova
Capuano’s
Rusty Bucket
Pizza Mart
Rotolo’s

Top of the Pie
Best pizza date: Figlio
Biggest surprise: Rusty Bucket
Best hideout pizza: Mama’s Pasta and Brew
Best cheese: Bucci’s
Best decor: Villa Nova
Best place to grab a beer with your pizza: Yellow Brick
Best sauce: Adriatico’s
Sweetest pie: Plank’s on Parsons
Best pizza by the slice: Café Napolitana
Best pizza beer: Michelob
Best pizza soda: Orange Crush
Best pizza after bar: Hounddog’s
Best pizza after keg party: Catfish Biff’s
Best personality: Gatto’s
Best folding slice: Borgata
Most rock ’n’ roll pizza: Cardo’s